Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ....you have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan????????????????
Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 maale se gir gaya tha
Banta: toh fir bach gaya ya mar gaya ?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.
In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
liquid state (brilliant answer).
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Simple, stop imagining.
A man starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Man: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.
Patient: in my dreams, rats play football every night
Dr.: take this tablet you will be ok
Patient: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.
Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 maale se gir gaya tha
Banta: toh fir bach gaya ya mar gaya ?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.
In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
liquid state (brilliant answer).
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Simple, stop imagining.
A man starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Man: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.
Patient: in my dreams, rats play football every night
Dr.: take this tablet you will be ok
Patient: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.
Self-Motivation
Push yourself as much as possible with self effort!No one out there can help you.
Only YOU can help yourself!
That is the power of ONE!
Irony Of Life
MEN
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are very busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really turned off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
WOMEN:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "Old Rags".
6. Although their clothes are always, just an old rag, they still expect you to compliment Them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are very busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really turned off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
WOMEN:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "Old Rags".
6. Although their clothes are always, just an old rag, they still expect you to compliment Them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.
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