"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you"
- Roy Croft -
Friday, March 23, 2007
Sad Affairs Of A Student
If a barber makes a mistake, It's a new style.
If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident.
If a doctor makes a mistake, It's an operation.
If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture.
If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation.
If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law.
If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention.
If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion.
If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory.
If a student makes a mistake, It is a MISTAKE.!!!!
If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident.
If a doctor makes a mistake, It's an operation.
If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture.
If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation.
If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law.
If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention.
If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion.
If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory.
If a student makes a mistake, It is a MISTAKE.!!!!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Don't Give Up
There was this man who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water.
He decided to save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him.
The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again.
A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him.
But the man said: "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love.Why should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"
Don't give up loving.Don't give up your goodness.Even if people around you sting.
He decided to save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him.
The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again.
A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him.
But the man said: "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love.Why should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"
Don't give up loving.Don't give up your goodness.Even if people around you sting.
That's Life
Life is like having a cup of tea.
You sit by the side of the window, lift the cup and take a careless sip, only to realize, somebody forgot to put the sugar.
Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle through the sugarless cup.
Till you discover undissolved sugar crystal sitting at the bottom.
You sit by the side of the window, lift the cup and take a careless sip, only to realize, somebody forgot to put the sugar.
Too lazy to go for it, you somehow struggle through the sugarless cup.
Till you discover undissolved sugar crystal sitting at the bottom.
Why India lost World cup final 2003 ?
Just in case you were still wondering as to why India lost the final of the 2003 world cup after playing so well in the league games, probably here lies the answer :-
The teams that qualified for the super six stage :-
India , Sri Lanka , Australia , New Zealand , Kenya ,Zimabawe .
Note there are two teams each from the continents of Asia , Australasia & Africa resp .
The teams that have the last alphabet "a" in their names qualified for the semifinals viz.
Indi'a' , Australi'a' , Keny'a' & Sri Lank'a'.
The teams that have alphabets "ia" at the last of their name qualified for the Final i.e
Ind "ia" & Austral"ia ".
Now,
Kisne World Cup ''lia'' - Austra"lia"
Kisne World Cup "dia" - In"dia"
The teams that qualified for the super six stage :-
India , Sri Lanka , Australia , New Zealand , Kenya ,Zimabawe .
Note there are two teams each from the continents of Asia , Australasia & Africa resp .
The teams that have the last alphabet "a" in their names qualified for the semifinals viz.
Indi'a' , Australi'a' , Keny'a' & Sri Lank'a'.
The teams that have alphabets "ia" at the last of their name qualified for the Final i.e
Ind "ia" & Austral"ia ".
Now,
Kisne World Cup ''lia'' - Austra"lia"
Kisne World Cup "dia" - In"dia"
Is there a problem ?
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not? "
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass ."
Management Lesson:
"Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not? "
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass ."
Management Lesson:
"Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tongue Twisters
She sells sea shells on the sea shore but the sea shells that she sells, on the sea shore are not the real ones.
Betty bought some butter but the butter was bitter so she bought some more butter to make the bitter butter better.
A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
I saw a saw that could out saw any other saw I ever saw.
Black bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that the big black bug bit?
A big bug bit the little beetle but the little beetle bit the big bug back.
If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
We surely shall see the sun shine shortly.
Which witch is which?
How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
Which witch wished which wicked wish?
Red Leather Yellow Leather Red Leather Yellow Leather Red Leather Yellow Leather
40 FEARLESS FIREMAN FOUGHT 40 FLAMING FIRES FEARLESSLEY.
BLUE BUGS BLOOD,BLUE BUGS BLOOD.
OLLIE OTTO OILED OTTO'S OILY AUTO.
He threw three free throws Red White Red White Red White Red White Red White
Red riding hood and robin hood ride right through the river.
She shuts the Shop Shutters So the Shopping Shoppers can't Shop.
Six sick snakes sit by the sea.
Six silver swans swam silently seaward.
Seventy seven benevolent elephants.
Six small slick seals.
Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins.
Sunshine City Sunshine City Sunshine City Sunshine City Sunshine City.
Tossed in the tunnel where the key can protent it from the tounge of the tea tasting toad.
Two witches bought two wrist watches, But which witch wore which wrist watch?
Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
Leaping lizards like to lick lovely lemon lollipops for lunch.
There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold 'silk sheets'. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shiekhss. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shiekhs too!
Betty and Bob brought back blue balloons from the big bazaar.
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.
Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets shortly.
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
What time does the wristwatch strap shop shut?
The big black bug bit the big black bear, and the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.
RED BULB BLUE BULB RED BULB BLUE BULB.
"RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD"."RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD".
I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
if a sledering snail went down a slippery slide would a snail sleder or slide down the slide.
bubble bobble, bubble bobble, bubble bobble.
Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
Lala Gope Gappungam Das.
You curse, I curse, we all curse, for asparagus!
Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya.
Sanjeev's sixth sheep is sick.
Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
A sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see Was sea, sea, sea.
A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box.
Upper roller lower roller Upper roller lower roller.
Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People.
If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
SIXTH SICK SHEIK'S SIXTH SICK SHEEP.
Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?
Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.
I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
How much wood could a wood chuck; chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Paresh P Patel plans to peel potatoes in Pune .
An Ape hates grape cakes.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
What noise annoys an oyster most? A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
Stop scratching Sanjay's skis.. Stop scratching Sanjay's skis... Stop scratching Sanjay's skis... Stop scratching Sanjay's skis...
Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to Mr Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
She sells seashells by the seashore. She sells sea shells on the sea shore she sells sea shells no more.
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it.
Any noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.
SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES.
A skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. the skunk thought the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?
Two witches bought two wrist watches, But which witch wore which wrist watch?
Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
Leaping lizards like to lick lovely lemon lollipops for lunch.
There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold 'silk sheets'. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shiekhss. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shiekhs too!
Betty and Bob brought back blue balloons from the big bazaar.
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.
Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets shortly.
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
What time does the wristwatch strap shop shut?
The big black bug bit the big black bear, and the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.
RED BULB BLUE BULB RED BULB BLUE BULB.
"RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD"."RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD".
I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
if a sledering snail went down a slippery slide would a snail sleder or slide down the slide.
bubble bobble, bubble bobble, bubble bobble.
Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
Lala Gope Gappungam Das.
You curse, I curse, we all curse, for asparagus!
Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya.
Sanjeev's sixth sheep is sick.
Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
A sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see Was sea, sea, sea.
A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box.
Upper roller lower roller Upper roller lower roller.
Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People.
If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
SIXTH SICK SHEIK'S SIXTH SICK SHEEP.
Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?
Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.
I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
How much wood could a wood chuck; chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Paresh P Patel plans to peel potatoes in Pune .
An Ape hates grape cakes.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
What noise annoys an oyster most? A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
Stop scratching Sanjay's skis.. Stop scratching Sanjay's skis... Stop scratching Sanjay's skis... Stop scratching Sanjay's skis...
Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to Mr Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
She sells seashells by the seashore. She sells sea shells on the sea shore she sells sea shells no more.
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it.
Any noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.
SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES.
A skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. the skunk thought the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?
Self-Appraisal
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered,
"Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said,
"Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered,
"Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said,
"Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"
An MBA & An Engineer
An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see"
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"
The MBA ponders for a minute:
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".
set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see"
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"
The MBA ponders for a minute:
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".
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